reach for the stars, angel

“The receptionist, some young lady, with her melodious voice, asked the patient to take a seat for a routine checkup of his teeth. As soon as the man was in the chair and opened his mouth, the guard held him firmly while the dentist started drilling a hole in healthy teeth, one after another. The dentist stopped only when the man nodded “yes” to the question asked by the guard: would he like to go back to the investigator’s office and plead guilty? If the prisoner was still obstinate, the drilling continued. In fifteen minutes, Boris Pilnyak was indeed back in Commissar Beria’s office confessing every crime he was accused of.”

I love gruesome history stories.. Came across this while trying to find information on Stalin’s “cult of personlity” in the 1930s. It doesn’t really relate to my history IA question at all, but I thought it was an interesting story :) Drilling holes in healthy teeth.. Hmm.

♥

voluptuous, vinegar, vortex

Hi Miles, this is one of the very first photos we ever took together at the Science Centre last June :) I remember that your camera was impossible to take photos with, but somehow we managed in the end! I still have the entry card we stole when we went on that weird scientific walk right before the centre closed for the day :)

I will never, ever forget the surprise visits at midnight; written love letters; kisses that took my breath away; never putting me second-best; spontaneous trips to the night safari, eating at lemongrass nearly everyday (just because I demanded it); saying sorry and meaning it; mcdonalds after prom; smiles so big they hurt my face; compromise; those nights at the park; sending me home every single time we met, even if I was at your house at midnight and taxi trips would cost you $30; choosing me over your friends; making me laugh; suntanning at sentosa; showering me with pretty jewelry; meeting my family at F1; everyday was an adventure!; that list of things we were supposed to do; putting up with so much shit I threw at you; making me feel like the only one who mattered; even a million hours together was never enough; regular surprise bubble teas in school; felt safest in your hugs; giving me little gifts almost every time we had a date; putting up with my silly friends (ahem ~alex~) that always made fun of you (ahem ~milo~); cheering me up all the times I was miserable; new year together; costa rhu vs. pebble bay; making time for me despite your exams; never, ever lonely; making fun of my nose; cab rides from bukit timah to east coast; protecting me from everything; never once forgetting the 10th; surprising me with shoes; giving in, so I wouldn’t have to; exploration of mysterious shopping malls; there for me, no matter what; promises for the future; sunlight in your hair; the journey to marina barrage that was worth every second; cute facebook messages that made my day; kissing me in public; being the sweetest boyfriend ever and surprising me with flowers and colourful macaroons when I was sick; putting in so much goddamn effort; holding my hand whenever I was scared; laughing over silly things; the sweetest presents in the world; you were always early and I was always late; never disappointing me, not even once; taking the train all the way to Kembangan with me whenever I insisted on saving money; a new thomas sabo charm every month; millions of magical “I love you’s”; always trying to get me everything I wanted, even if it meant busting your bank account a few times; food adventures were a dime a dozen; biggest bouquet of flowers I’ve ever seen after Grease; insisting to pay for dinner every time; never judging the things I did, no matter how hard it was for you to accept them; always telling me to stop touching the exhibits; always telling me to stop being embarrassing in public :); yakult-flavoured shaved ice adventures; changing for me; surprising me with sweet songs through email; kisses in the rain; roses, just because you felt like it; and well, the list could go on and on and on and I’d never run out of things to say. Thank you for best, most amazing, most frustrating, most unbelievably unforgettable 7 months of my life :) You were the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and believe me, I’d do it all over again in an instant.

“If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you’ve made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand.”

♥

unforgettable, unbelievable, unremarkable

17/10/08
Dear you,

Today I remembered the biting arctic wind on my raw cheeks, cotton candy clouds on straws, you. I remembered your crooked smile and the funny faces you’d show me, but only when nobody else was around. With our backs to a twisting river we made our wishes on worthless currency, and it was when you quietly asked me what I had wished for that I realised, in that moment, that I didn’t love him anymore, no- It was you, just you. Working up the courage, I’d have asked you what you wished for and you’d have whispered something I couldn’t quite catch in reply, but perhaps it’s better that I never really know.

Love, me

forget about the brightside

I really want to get this tattooed.. But for the first time, I am overwhelmed with this annoyingly nagging sense of doubt. Will you regret this Annabelle? Will you look back on this decision one day and sigh to yourself? Will you wonder if you are just being ridiculous and impulsive and slightly out of your mind?! Maybe this is just another excuse for me to prove to the world that I am not as pathetic as I always seem to feel. Or maybe this is just boredom on a Saturday afternoon, easily fixable if I could just work up the courage to leave this house and face the rest of the world. But no.. Is there a brightside to every scenario in life?

♥

but I’m so tired of thinking about her again tonight

07/04/09
Dear you,

Today I’d have told you that our love was like something almost surreal, a solar eclipse in the middle of May or the sighting of Hailey’s Comet – magnificent, unpredictable, but gone before you even realise it was there. I’d have asked you if you remembered those nights we spent walking under the stars, our fingers interlaced so tightly it would’ve taken hours to untangle them, or the first time you said you loved me, a word you used so carelessly but which slapped me across the face and left a print so hot it scarred for weeks. Today, I’d have hoped you knew I was sorry for what I did, the way I kept your heart hanging on a string until I got too tired of holding on to it. I’m sorry, I would’ve said, but you should’ve seen it coming from the start.

Love, me

♥

tourniquet, television, told you so

13/06/09
Dear you,

Today I’d have put my feet up in your lap, and as you gave me one of your crooked smiles I’d have told you about my favourite lemon cupcakes; rainbow-sprinkled yellow-swirled sugary-sweet frosting-covered cakes that nestle comfortably in cupped hands, the perfect companions to heartache or headache – two things I seem to be victim of a little too often lately. Sugar for my sugar, sweets for my sweet you would’ve sung cheerfully, completely missing the point of my story but it doesn’t matter, because with every heavy note you’d sing a little bit of my heavy heartache would disappear.

Love, me.

ego, by the saturdays

I am obsessed with this song!

♥

Okay so I burned the lasagna and now my mum’s annoyed. My sister thinks it’s hilarious and can’t stop laughing, but I don’t really see why! Whatever, evidently my killer cooking skills are NOT APPRECIATED by this family so I came back upstairs. Will do the orientation AAR that I’ve been putting off for the whole week instead ^^ And then start on my history IA, and then cut down 2000 words from my world lit, and then revise the structure of my EE.. Gah, I sound like such a loser. It’s so depressing to think about how much I have to do and how little time I have left to do it. Remembering that everyone else is drowning in the same pool of quicksand as me doesn’t help to make the situation any better, either :(

♥

sanctuary, solidify, somewhere over the rainbow

I have this incredible love-hate relationship with flying alone.. My biggest worry always comes from missing my flight, and then being helplessly stranded at the airport and having no idea what to do! Losing my luggage comes a close second, but thank god I managed to avoid all of that :) So I’m finally here in England! Found out I was coming a week ago, packed my suitcase in 10 minutes, jumped onto a plane at midnight, and here I am 13 hrs later :) It feels so surreal, like I’m not really awake yet and this is all a strange dream. I’m going down to London with my sisters tonight and then I’m leaving Sunday night. Originally, I’d planned to finish my history IA here, but seeing as how I spent the whole of yesterday wandering around Portsmouth with my mum (climbed 500 steps up the Spinnaker Tower!) and today, all my relatives are coming down to Denmead, I seriously doubt I’ll have any time at all :(

Anyway, England is bloody freezing! It was -3 degrees this morning when my mum and I drove to the giant superstore, and my fingers and toes have officially lost all feeling.. Everyone tells me to enjoy the cold, but this weather is really way too insane for human survival. How does anyone live in this country?! I went for breakfast with my mum yesterday after I landed and the minute I stepped out of the car I swear my toes turned blue. Granted, I was in furry bedroom slippers and it was raining, but still.. Rain even turned to hail yesterday afternoon :( It’s such a bizarre country! OK so I’m supposed to be watching my mum’s lasagna for her now, better get going. I can smell it burning already, ugh.. I really cannottt wait to see my cousins for lunch in a few hours!! :) You know, as much as I hate the weather, I really don’t want to go back to Singapore so soon.. But then again, there’s something I can’t wait to go home for so I guess that outweighs everything else :)

“if I were a boy, I think I could understand”

♥